BOU 005 – Vampires vs. Werewolves vs. Zombies and Other Paranormals

BOU 005 – Vampires vs. Werewolves vs. Zombies and Other Paranormals

We ALMOST went right to the topic of the show this week … Vampires vs. Werewolves vs. Zombies and Other Paranormals.

But then I rudely suggested we do another of our hypothetical questions.

The question:

A man offers you an opportunity to live for 50 more years if you press a button. However, someone you don’t know will die. Would you press the button?

None of us said we’d use the button … though Sean and I both said we’d use it if we could pick the person, including child molesters and other monsters.

Johnny said he’s not sure if he’d be interested in pushing the button at all, as he thinks 50 more years might make life less valuable. Part of life’s value, Johnny said, is that it is finite. To be able to extend it at will, makes it less so.

This question then spun off into variants of it until Sean finally admitted he’s a heartless bastard that would kill his own mother, with a sword no less, to establish 100 years of word peace.

Johnny talked a bit about the Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter book and how he’s not liking the end so much (though he doesn’t give any spoilers). Hint: Abe goes to a play and it doesn’t end well.

Around 24 minutes in, we got back on topic. Or, rather, to the topic, with Sean and Johnny favoring vampires while I said werewolves are cooler and scarier. Though we all agreed that unless you’re a furry, then vampires are sexier.

We then went on to do a couple more hypotheticals, including this gem:

You’re kidnapped and strapped to a gurney, and forced to choose something to be cut off — your legs, your arms, your eyes, or your penis. Which do you choose?

And then we ended the show with one more question regarding a UFO.

We wrapped up wondering whether the show was awesome or sucked.

So let us know… leave a comment or review below.

Also, feel free to answer the hypotheticals — what would you choose? Leave an answer below or call in.

Links mentioned in this show: The Simon Pegg article a reader sent in in response to our fast versus slow zombie show where Simon Pegg wrote a great piece in the Guardian UK about the subject.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Better Off Undead #5 – Vampires vs. Werewolves vs. Zombies and Other Paranormals


  1. Hey guys, Gareth from the UK (or UGAY as you like to call it) Great podcast, its funny and very releaxed to listen to. Keep up the good work and I will check out the other podcasts that you do.

    But which would you fight 1 giant zombie or 10 dwarf zombies???

    • Definitely one giant zombie!

      • But how would you cut a giants head off?

        • I don’t know, but I do know I’d only have to do it once.

  2. I also read Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter and loved most of it but got totally bored and tired of it by the end. I’m a huge history nerd and read tons of history, so I don’t think liking it has to do with being a history buff or not. It’s just pretty anticlimactic once he stops fighting vampires and you know how it’s all going to end.

    The last section should have been retitled Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Tolerator.

  3. “I’d hit that shit like whac-a-mole” sounds so much better out of context.


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