BOU 007 – What Would Happen in a Real Zombie Apocalypse?

BOU 007 – What Would Happen in a Real Zombie Apocalypse?

Hey, Dave here with this week’s show notes.

(WARNING: This episode is full of bad words and offensive stuff and is suitable for no audiences)

We opened the show talking about mine (Dave) and Sean’s new zombie serial thriller, Z 2134: Episode 1. Johnny hinted at a story he’s writing, in addition to a zombie book he’s writing.

We talked True Blood, some spoiler free Dexter talk (and how last season sucked ass), Breaking Bad (a fourth season mild spoiler), etc…

The first of the show’s several fights came about 15 minutes in when Sean said he wants to write a western, without doing ANY research whatsoever. I said bullshit, you can’t write a decent western without knowing something, or doing research.

I suggested we change the name of the show to “Better Off Bitching” while Johnny suggested we change the show’s genre to humor, since we do such a shitty job at actually staying on a horror topic.

Eventually, we found our way to this week’s topic, which is:

What do you think would happen in a real zombie apocalypse?

We talked a bit about fast versus slow zombies, and I suggested that maybe there’d be two threats — zombies, and newly infected, but not yet dead humans, who still retained speed and some intelligence.

The discussion was almost immediately derailed by talk of roving rape gangs, which is a callback to an earlier episode, where I posited that I’d avoid people in a zombie apocalypse because humanity would devolve into roving rape gangs and gladiator arenas.

Johnny and Sean, however, think all of humanity would pull together (for the first time ever in recorded history, by the way) and all help one another like some big “We are the World” singalong or something.

It all began when Johnny suggested that people don’t get raped in war. (JOHNNY’S NOTE: No I fucking did NOT! I just said that the correllation wasn’t as strong as Dave said… and wait’ll you hear how strong he says it is.) Whereas I said no, people do. And it happens a lot. The show then devolved into silliness (as I was operating on 3 hours of sleep), with Sean and Johnny busting my balls for pretty much the rest of the show.

The show ended as it usually does, with us hanging our heads in shame, wondering whether we should hit publish or delete.

Seeya next week!

Got a topic you’d like us to talk about? Suggest it below. And we might spend a minute or two on your topic of choice.



  1. Hmm I would find a cold beer and a hot girl and spend a ton of time doing the Quagmire until the Zombie got us.

  2. Hi guys,
    Im not sure what your podcast is supposed to be. You hardly ever talk about the subject of the podcast and spend virtually all the rest of the time talking about loosely connected subjects. The guy constantly giggling is VERY VERY irritating and not funny in the slightest. Its frustrating listening because you have the grounds for an excellent podcast with all your backgrounds and I appreciate the host trying to keep things on track but PLEASE PLEASE talk about the subjects at hand.
    The above is meant as friendly criticism and is in no way a personal attack but the giggling guy is beyond irritating. Sorry.
    Good luck with your venture and i’ll keep tuned in hoping you talk about the subjects up for discussion.

    • That would probably be me giggling. I had about 3.25 hours of sleep, and was allowing myself to be giddier than normal. Usually, I try not to allow happiness to permeate my space.

      Sorry I’ve offended you. Next time I feel the urge to giggle, I’ll remember some tragic event in my life (as there are so many to choose from), and that I am not funny. I am a sad, sad man, and should know no joy, let alone this podcast, the one shining light in my otherwise gray void of an existence.

      Thank you for reminding me that I am not funny. And that I’m annoying. Thank God there are people such as yourself who will point out my glaring flaws, lest I mistakenly believe that people find me anything more than the annoying, miserable bastard that I am.

      • Ha! Classic Dave. I actually figured it was Sean who was annoying. I am the responsible host.

        I think what Dave meant to say is that there is really zero chance we’re going to ever be fully on subject.. and if this one bothered you with diversions, then FOR THE LOVE OF GOD don’t listen to episode 8. We spent 5-10 minutes on-topic there.

        We might not be a fit… we roll pretty loose and I doubt that will change much from here on out. 🙂

        The good news is that our writing is actually somewhat more focused. Well, not Dave’s. He’s a miserable fuck.

        • No, my writing is laser focused. And nary a stupid giggle to be found!

          • I think the bottom line for all three of us on the BOU podcast is that we want to have fun, and transfer that fun to the listener. All in all, I think we do an excellent job with this. I believe the listeners who have enjoyed this so far will continue to do so, and more so. But listeners who don’t will enjoy it now will enjoy it even less, because we only get more off topic from here.

            Also, I’m with Johnny. I figured I was the annoying one who giggled like a schoolgirl. My wife and kids (at least for now) think I’m funny. That’s totally enough for me.

      • To clarify, im talking about giggling on ALL the podcasts. It doesn’t transfer to the listener at all (at least not to me anyway). It comes across as an inside joke between the three of you and that is not entertaining in my book.
        Maybe your podcast just isn’t for me if the current format isn’t going to change so i’ll move on.
        Good luck with it guys

        • Yeah, I’d say this show is probably for a very small group of people who are as weird, un-funny, and annoying as we are. Or who laugh with us at the joke which our “topics” have become. That’s becoming an inside joke between us and our regular listeners. How long can we actually stay on topic?

          You either love it, hate it, or reluctantly come around to kinda liking it, which more or less describes my every relationship in high school.

          Thank you for wishing us luck, though, and not saying we’re all assholes just because we’re a weird and slightly acquired taste. We’ll probably be a bit more on topic in October when The Walking Dead returns, but probably not enough to warrant us a second chance.

          • Thanks for your honesty David.
            Not everybody on the internet is an asshole and my comments were meant to be constructive. I’ll be back in October when TWD returns.
            Good luck again.

  3. I love the laid back and easy style of the podcast (and the other podcast) as well. Fun and info all round for me. Mind you I would like to see the podcast out quicker but there is the YouTube until then. I would go for 4 stars out of 5 until I get a mention lol

  4. Personally, I find the free flow lack of context or subject matter to be very refreshing. It’s a lot like listening to my friends, at their least coherent, waxing philosophical. Or maybe a small-market morning radio show, but… you know… without annoying traffic reports. Anyway, keep up the good work guys. Roving rape gang jokes are hard to pull off (and virtually impossible to explain at work when someone asks why you’re giggling like a moron at your desk).

    And seriously, research to write a western? How much research did Sergio Leone do? He made a Fist Full of Westerns by just putting a bunch of Akira Kurosawa movies into cowboy hats.

    • That is EXACTLY what I’m talking about! Not the rape gangs, but Leone and Kurosowa. It’s cool, Dave doesn’t have to get it. Johnny and I are writing a unicorn western.

      • Neon gunsmoke!

  5. Yeah, I guffawed repeatedly at this one at the gym. People wonder what’s wrong with me. More than usual.

  6. Of course the best advice is always and I mean ALWAYS end on a song and dance routine then exit stage left with a big smile and a wave…

    I thankyou and goodnight… tell your friends….


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *